S: And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Mark 10:21 (ESV)
O: I have read this verse a dozen times without seeing what I saw today. Maybe it is because it’s set apart by commas in the ESV, but for the first time I saw, “And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and…”
How could I miss that?
A: You loved him. You didn’t say to him “go, sell all that you have and give to the poor…” as a way for him to show how much he loved You – You said it to show him how much You loved him. To show him that God could be trusted with everything. That You would provide all he needed and that You would care for him in this life and the life after. Forever.
You look at me, loving me, and You say, “You lack one thing: let go of control. Let go of self. Let go of your pride. Be a fool for Me! Then you will have true freedom and real life! Let me show You how I can be trusted with everything, with all of you. Let go, Kimberly. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
This “trying to hold it together” act has to go! This internal conflict of picking and choosing what parts of my heart I want to reveal cannot continue. It is preventing me from the ALL You want to give me.
Because You love me.
Like a leaf falling from its limb, it’s time to let go.
Loosen your grip. Release.
I’ve got you, daughter. It’s okay. Let go…”
P: Forgive me, Father. I’ve held on to myself for too long. I don’t want to use my strength trying to hold it all together anymore. I want to be free – completely free – to step into the ALL You have for me – regardless of what anyone else thinks anymore! I want all of You. Just as You want all of me.
I choose to let go. I will rejoice in this moment! In this freedom!
I choose You, Jesus. Again.
I love You…too.